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Sep. 21st, 2007 @ 09:21 am wonky shortbus diary tales
#2
so... it was a wild wednesday where i had taken the day off from work for my dentist appointment, which by the way, went just okay. i mean, i didn't have to punch anyone in the throat, so it could have been worse. 
danielle and i were going to get some lunch after the appointment, and were seated across from some random dude, and this older hispanic lady gets on the buss at walmart. she decides to squeeze herself into the seat right next to danielle which has a vertical bar on the end of it. basically sitting on danielle's lap, she's drinking a bottled water, and as we're riding, she drops it and it splashes on the guy across from us, wetting his shirt, arm, leg and his hand. the funny part was that he reacted by exclaiming something like "eauhh", as if it were a disgusting liquid that had just splattered his right side.  so as we sat there holding back our laughter, the lady said not a word. she picked up her water, looked around for the lid, and kept right on a'drinkin'. a couple of minutes later, as the guy was wiping himself off, older lady asks him "te mojates mijo?" translation: did you get wet, son? using the word 'mijo' is sort of the way an older person might call you son, or honey, or sweetie even if they don't know you, or are not related to you. the guy points at her and says "tu".(you).. in a sort of 'duh, it was you, weren't you here just a minute ago?' way.  she basically ignores this, and then switches seats to talk to another woman about her age. this is just one of those moments where you don't know if you should say something funny, laugh in an understanding way, or just stay quiet.  as always, a lesson was learned this day: don't let old women splash water on you, because it makes the other passengers uncomfortable, not knowing if they should laugh or not. quit being so selfish. think of others for once. jeez.
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Sep. 10th, 2007 @ 01:23 am greechee
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: silence
blahthur blahthur blahthur blahthur blahthur.

goarj welkk oingn ciowen?

moockw aod aongowe lkoak dokcue co. murwokd curders akewl mkae yim cafece until aodiw burriots.
staths lal rof onw.

eyb

nagel
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Sep. 7th, 2007 @ 07:48 pm xeophytes and kendo in the streetlight
Current Location: here
Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: rotating plastic attatched to metal
.
after reading through all of these old entries, i thought about deleting them or making a new lj. but i think it's better this way. better to know how things have changed. how i've changed. grown. calmed. forgotten. i must say i miss a lot of the old friends.. but we all went the way we felt best. some of them have chosen poorly in my eyes.. but it is up to each individual to decide how to live, or in some cases how to die. it is insane to think the last entry was almost two years ago now. thanks to taylor for convincing me to resurrect this old brainstew catalog of thoughts, wishes, rants, and nonsense. although now i'm sure it will be filled with a little more sense. oh by the way, i don't use caps ever... i'm not in school anymore, nor do i plan to be, so i will not capitalize my i's or names, places, or super-beings... except randomly.  another thing, hi to anyone out there who might read this, and a hello to old friends. may someday our paths cross once again. here's to getting old..

p.s. on suggestion from a friend, who shall remain anonymous, i am going to begin imparting some weird little musings, happenings, or actions, that take place on the san angelo bus system that i now use, and that may or may not be worth it.

?

how dare you agree that they may not be worth it?!  remember the show 'double dare' ? hehe..
uh.. what?

so one lovely saturday, danielle and i were going to have lunch at some fancy, faraway place, where all the hip people go, the food could kill, and where all the coolest cats just might show up. otherwise known as Logan's Roadhouse. whoa, wouldn't it would be cool if they made a sequel to the movie Roadhouse, and Patrick Swayze was a waiter at Logan's Roadhouse, and he didn't ever hit anyone for no good reason.. but on his breaks he would take some of the cooking oils and get all greased up and practice his tai chi or martial arts, while all shiny and gleaming in the sun, on a small hill, back behind the building.. and holy crap what was i talking about? oh yeah well, when dani and i got on the bus and walked to the back. we did not notice, but some greazy, hispanic, oversexed, chubster decided it would be cool to take a picture of danielle's hiney. later on the ride, an older gent, who happened to be war vet(random tidbit), leaned over and told us what he did. well, as we were getting off to leave, the guy, smooth operator that he is, took his camera out and was readying it very conspicuously, so i walked VERY close behind dani, to block his shot.. and she later made mention of this to the drivers. they said they would watch him, and he would be kicked off the buses if he did anything else. dani is on good terms with the driver's so they watch her back! especially since she helped them get a different pervert kicked off the bus system. anyway.. it was really weird, and we were still in disbelief afterward...
and we learned a very valuable lesson that day... patrick swazye doesn't work at Logan's, but their food is pretty good. The end.

there you have it. entry #1  in what i have decided to call "The Wonky Shortbus Diaries"
ok, i think that is enough of this caca. bye.
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Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:51 pm bayer.
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: coal chamber-loco
INDICATIONS: Fast, safe temporary relief of headache pain, muscle aches and pains, pain and fever of colds, and minor aches and pains of arthritis.

DIRECTIONS: Adults and Children 12 years and over, take 1 or 2 tablets with water every 4 hours as needed. Do not exceed 12 tablets in 24 hours.

!PACKAGE NOT CHILD RESISTANT!


100 Tablets 325 mg
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Feb. 11th, 2005 @ 05:57 pm dot dot dot karate
Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: my own
i came across something i wrote a very long time ago.
read it and say something. also let me know your my-space alter egos.

decadence, spite, hate, pain, fight
hit, destroy, strike, kill the joy

sever, murder, torture
agony, bleed another

swell, implode, ravage the soul
detrimental thoughts cannot be exposed

evil, hostile, knife in the back
malignant personality, it was stabbed

the spikes, the thorns, the hurting hell
suffering scars, the skin will peel

burning flesh, the scents of death
dictatorship. rule, die, or infest

infect, sour, rotten tissue dripping
a cancer it is, a disease that is gripping

tearing, ripping, flailing, slashing
stomach pain, affecting everything

insomnia, it is all worth seeing

malice, poison, clouded mind
razors, venomous, saturnine

slain for nilch, thrown down, abused
no race, no sex, no hate, just truth
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Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 08:04 pm (no subject)
hi
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Jan. 22nd, 2005 @ 08:20 am survivalist
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: sniffling, sneezing, fuck you medicine.
angst. above all. Another amputated arm acts as an award after alteration. An almost automated america attains acclimated apathy. As anger-addled americans approach an apocalyptic apex.

you did this to yourself.

i have not updated in a bit. i suppose i could say i have been out of it lately, mostly mentally. i've been struggling with maintaining the energy to make through an entire day. i wonder if it's because i haven't been eating right. maybe because i haven't been sleeping right. maybe a combination of the two. either way, i have had many things on my mind lately, but i believe i have overcome them. i need rest.

i had a good time last(friday) night, throwing knives and ninja spikes at a tree stump, and hanging out with everyone, and going to KK, since we haven't been there in nearly forever, but not quite. here is my hunting list w/ a few interesting details. they were here, but i was too lazy to get out my "illegal as hell" .22, and put them out of their pseudo-misery.

A black female kitten - warm fur, cold heart. wears pink mittens
A sly racoon - wore a semi-transparent shirt(we could all see her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder)
An orange alley kitten - performed a dive roll that wouldn't make me proud cause i didn't see it
An asian bunny rabbit - good w/knives. bad w/spikes. nice little ass. i mean...cottontail
An asian sperm - the name says it all. can't speak cause it's a sperm
An asian sperm's brother - the name doesn't say it all. hot stuff if you're into that kind of thing.
A scary troll - had a beanie like my hippie one, drives an SUV

strange because all the trolls i know don't drive but instead use satyrs to teleport them to their destinations. anyway. its 8 a.m. i don't have to work but i'm up cause i'm a weird-ass. wait. my ass is fine, i forgot. feel good to actually do something physical, its been to long. i am going to do more. hopefully the animals will be back then i can do my deal. hopefully danielle will hang out today. yep. sorry for the long post. but...to make up for it i will...nevermind, eat shit and die everybody! ;)
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Jan. 13th, 2005 @ 07:53 am ...
Current Mood: ...
Current Music: ...
and still this emptiness persists...
perhaps this is as good as it gets...
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Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 05:06 pm ...
Current Mood: ...
Current Music: ...
are my words that unbearably monotonous that they are completely unworthy of more than a moment's attention?

or do they just blend in with all the brash voices comprising the idiot static that is the background noise to this one-sided telephone conversation we call life....

how much longer can i endure the torture of being heard but not being listened to?
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Dec. 29th, 2004 @ 06:02 pm ...
Current Mood: contemplation
i'm a lot like you, so please.
hello, i'm here, i'm waiting.
i think i'd be good for you.
and you'd be good for me.

how stupid is it? i cannot talk about.
i gotta sing about it, and make a record of, my heart.

how stupid is it? won't you give me a minute?
just come up to me and say hello, to my heart.

how stupid is it? for all i know you want me too.
and maybe you just don't know what to do,
maybe you're scared to say, "i'm falling for you".
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Dec. 17th, 2004 @ 12:36 am hi
i'll update tomorrow. a lot of shit to say. right now i am too tired. but......


i would like to reiterate the fact that i am smarter, cooler, and better than any other person that has ever lived.
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Dec. 6th, 2004 @ 08:43 pm cretino, stand up, let your voice pierce the ears of all
hi


i haven't posted in a bit, but so far nothing new's goin on really. this weekend a bunch of the hooligans hung out, and a few of the fools, and some of the ragamuffins even. we watched 90% of dodgeball about three times, cause the disc is damaged and won't play the ending. i met a guy named troy and a guy named estevan. nice guys. my little sister got ejected from the game of living with her parents, and stayed with me. it was good times with everyone, we got some huge ass pizzas. a lot of people were around like....lisa, troy, estevan, steven, nieman, and...uh...miranda, and me, and...rudy...oh yeah, and stefanie...i think that's it...well, lora was missing cause she was being tough and not cleaning her room, and got grounded. that is so not boss. oh yeah, daria, amy, and cindy stopped by for a little bit, and amy stepped in cat or dog poop, she couldn't decide, but it stunk and i was the only one who smelled it. hmm...as for me...i suppose things could be much worse...i could not have a job...i could not have enough money to pay my bills for now and be broke for a week of work...i could not have great friends...or i could pull a hamstring lifting tractors and tossing muscle cars across fields of golden wheat...but i always stretch before i do that. anyway...work isn't too bad, i have "McButt" sitting next to me, and he's pretty funny, and i can listen to music while i work. i have had much worse jobs. i'm doing pretty good, having little to no errors on my work. i am pretty happy, but there is something that needs to be said that i still have yet to say. no plans really for this week...i think i'll go to bed early tonight...whoops...just got a phone call from brian in california, too bad i told him i wasn't here, i wanted to talk with some dickless bastard about why i let my bills go unpaid for several months and how i should send hundreds of dollars that i don't have right away to avoid "legal action". anyway, my feet are cold, and someone i met recently actually knew about me before i met her through people who used to play at KK(kids kingdom), she had heard of me by my nickname though. that being "ninja". i wish we could go there but the lights thing sucks. if you read this far, then you should definitely comment cause you love me....(plus i'm smarter and cooler and better than everyone in the world, so you should try your damnedest to be just like me). loves it.
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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 09:46 pm i stole this from one of lisa's friends

The guitar musician survey

Created by mysweetsorrow and taken 145 times on bzoink!

About you
Whats your name?Einjeru
How old are you?23
whats your style?something that falls in the cracks
Why did you pick up guitar?because i broke my heart, and a doctor told me it would be good rehabilitation
About your guitar('s)
Do you have an electric?on my 2nd one
if so what color is it?maroon....sort of. almost covered in stickers
What brand is it?ibanez
Where did you get it?caldwell music
do you like it better over acoustic?neither one is that great
Do you have an acousticyeah sucka
If so what color is it?um...brown?
What brand is it?seagull
Where did you get it?caldwell punkass
Do you like it more over electric?they're both really great
About your music
How long have you been playing?like five years...or maybe..2 days. no. five years.
What style do you play most of the time?bullschitt
Do you find it easier to write when your upset?i find it easiest to write when i have a pen in my hand
How many songs have you written over all?at least fifty
Are you in a band?sometimes
If so what is there name and there stylethere name? learn some grammar asshole
What band/artist inspires you most?too many to name. ideally, you should take in everything you hear
Odds n Ends
How many picks do you have?20, 000 divided by a thousand(or thereabouts)
How many guitars do you have?3, one is not for play
Did your parents spoil you and buy you your first guitar?i stole my dad's cause he didn't use it
How many straps do you have?1, i play acoustic while sitting down on a barbwire fence, so i don't need a strap for it
Do you have a working amp?yeah, one works at ethicon, and the other works at blue cross/blue shield with me.

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

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Nov. 30th, 2004 @ 11:28 pm ...
Current Mood: ....
Current Music: ...
our youth is fleeting.
old age is just around the bend.
and i can't wait to go grey.
i'll sit and wonder.
of every love that could have been.
if i'd only thought of something charming to say.
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Nov. 28th, 2004 @ 03:44 am (no subject)
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: beck-everybody's gotta learn sometimes
tonight a buncha people hung out....and we watched friday the 13th part five-hundred and sixty two. lets see...steven, nieman, stefanie, lisa, lora, joey, and later rudy, and eugene showed up at my house, and throughout the movie was non-stop talking...but oh well, at least some of it was funny...particularly nieman & steven's married couple-like bickering. great times spending time with friends...it was good to just chill and watch a movie with no drama or bs going on.

on another note...earlier today steven said he thought that an unnamed person and myself should maybe go on a date and would make a good couple. and although the main reason against it is, well....steven is stupid, the strange thing is that the thought actually has crossed my mind, i've just never been sure how to handle it. i have felt this way for a very long long time, as in almost since i met her, and i still don't know what to do. i don't see her frequently(i'd talk to her and try to see her everyday if i could without it seeming weird) but i still can't help feeling how i feel every time i see her. i try to keep my distance, and it seems like she does too, so neither one of us accidentally crosses that line. i suppose it all could be resolved if i simply said out loud how i feel, and waited to see if she felt anything at all for me. even if she didn't, at least i could have this weight off of my shoulders. i'm just so afraid of screwing things up. i wonder if she didn't, if afterward things would be awkward...or if by chance she did have feelings for me, i think about the difficulty that is always present when transitioning from friendship to relationship, and how it's so intimidating...it keeps me up at night sometimes, and i have to force it out of my mind. i've tried writing it out, but i just can't really put it into words...it seems like i should just go and do it so that i won't regret not saying anything...but i don't know...i really don't...

angel
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Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 06:58 pm anticipate solitude & internally rejoice
its about seven p.m. now, i feel like taking a nap, but i don't want to fuck with my sleeping pattern anymore. i went to my sister pamela's for the thanksgiving feast, spent much time with family, enjoyed good food. its strange to see everyone getting older, including myself. i like being with my family, they make me feel tall...ha. to be honest, i think that is true in many more ways than one.
well, not much is new, still working, have to take an assessment on wednesday(which i'm trying to keep my mind off of) that could determine whether or not i come back to work the following monday. its pretty crappy. other than that, all is well. hmm...there is nothing at all planned for tonight, and i'm actually looking forward to spending the rest of tonight alone.

happy thanksgiving everyone.

angel
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Nov. 21st, 2004 @ 12:03 pm a grab-bag of contrivances
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: nirvana~downer
i'm up since 11am even though i was up til nearly 4`30 a.m. |s"x . forage)>it must be having to wake up early everyday. i have a 5-year anniversary for graduation coming up next weekend. can't believe it's been five years. i heard from an old friend from school who wanted to know if i'd accompany her....*skreem!a$3)because you're supposed to bring someone. but i'm wondering if first of all, i even want to go, and second, if it's too late to find out if she still does. kyle told me i should ask lora to go with me, but i doubt she'd want to, although having her there would make the whole thing a lot easier. we(kitten{female>, kitten{male>, chicken-hawk, nutria, and...stefanie?(sp)who we just met) ate at denny's yesterday, and the chicken-hawk and the male kitten and i ate at gatti's, both of which were rather enjoyable. *(&^)^%#$|P{}@~> i dunno...i feel like i've lost the fire/anger/angst/whatever i thought i'd never run out of....or maybe i've just lost track of it. i haven't written in months, and its beginning to bother me. i'm glad i have great friends(just thought i'd toss that in there out of nowhere{its what i'm good at}).
vaya con dios.

angel

p.s. oh yeah..and kyle. a 'deus ex machina' refers to a term used in modern culture with very old roots. back in shakespeare's time(possibly before as well). gods/deities were lowered to the stage using machinery, and would often rescue the protaganist from a difficult or impossible situation. pretty much the easy way out for the writer of the story. today it means when the writer of a movie or book pretty much writes themselves into a corner and uses a highly implausible(by the story's set mechanics) plot twist to get themselves out. a man-made god, a god from the machine, a "deus ex machina".
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Nov. 6th, 2004 @ 02:54 am juxtaposition of illicit thought formations
Current Mood: darkness
Current Music: silence
staring at a blank page for some reason looks daunting. i wonder why. it isn't as if this entry is required of me.

well...it nearly always seems that time spent in solitude only causes one to fixate on one's own inadequacies...is this really that bad? without knowing and focusing on our flaws, how is it humanly possible to even attempt to correct them? a better question would be "should we attempt to correct them at all?". i suppose that would depend on the reasons behind the correction. would it be self-betterment? making friends? keeping friends? or maybe something as trivial as fitting in with certain group of "people". i believe everyone should spend time in their own mind and that it is quite beneficial. i also believe that some of us are so used to living our lives only interacting/talking/eating/sleeping/vegetating/so on, with other people that we don't even know who we are anymore. the surrounding people compose artificially the natural complexities of our latent personalities. so...is the person you truly are..the one you are when you are completely alone, or the one you are when in the presence of others? to say that it is a conscious thing...this metamorphosis that comes to pass when one is deprived of all company, would be a complete and utter lie. infinitely more true would be to say that it is something that we all, as people, are already so used to, we do not see it happen. your vision, is clouded. as an exercise, try to sit/lie or recline...in isolation...in silence...with eyes closed. see how long, if at all, you can stand to listen to the sound of your very own thoughts.

for a very, very, long time now. i have felt weighed down...or...held back by some of the people i know. i don't want to seem cocky, and i know it most likely will seem that i am. trust me, i don't think i'm superior to everyone, but at times i can't help but feel as though i'm always waiting for them to catch up...as though i always have been. i never feel as though i am being challenged, or that i am the one who needs to rise. i wish for once that someone would blot out my sun.
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Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 02:20 am think....
Current Mood: silenced
Current Music: silence
an introspective lifetime of silence

this is for all the things i long to attain, which i will never attain.
this is for all of the things i very much want to learn, but will never learn.
this is for the love i've wished for, for so very long, that i will never have.
this is for all the places i would love to see, but will never see.
this is for all the thoughts that should have resulted in action, but never did.
this is for all the words that should have left my lips, and never did.

its for all the lost moments, for which there is no condolence.
its for all the languages never learned. its for all sights never seen.
its for every second of burning eyes, every outburst locked up inside.
its for the times when i can't stand to be near, that which i cannot have...
where every instant filled to the brim with pain, feels immeasurable in length.

for every day not lived to its fullest, no, for every hour, every minute,
every second, and every bit of 'time' as we believe we know it..
and every regret-filled inner-scream tearing into the bloody mind's eye.
what can one offer in return without coming off as merely attempting to placate?
...an introspective lifetime of silence
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Oct. 22nd, 2004 @ 02:39 am aikido, tae-kwon-do, and jeet kune do
nothing new. nothing wrong, nothing right. create an escape tonight. foraging for feeling among it all. they are mind(mine).

haven't updated in a while. dad went back to mexico. took the car. i have no transportation, making me pretty much incapable of getting a job. much bills. no money. no food. no humanitarian lacking sympathy. no more motivation to keep trying not to feel sorry for myself. no more. no nothing. life is great.
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